ARRGHHH I’M SO PISSED RIGHT NOW I WANT TO CHARGE HEAD-FIRST INTO SOME BIG FAT WOMAN TILL SHE FALLS OVER AND MY HEAD SMASHES ONTO HER CHEST AND KILLS HER.
I can’t decide my majors. I can’t decide whether I want to keep the bag I bought yesterday or exchange it for its archenemy which lies glittering in some showcase in the mall, and now I can’t, for the life of me, decide what to wear tomorrow. Go semi-formal, formal or business-casual. Neither can I decide whether I should shampoo before sleeping or wake up and shampoo my mangled mane. I mean, we all have big problems and life-hinging issues – but they all only get sorted in the long term so they’re not even close to being as daunting as these problems are. I have a week to decide my majors. 3 days to exchange the bag. 6 hours to decide what I want to wear. And ten minutes to decide whether I shampoo now or tomorrow morning. YOU SEE HOW IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE???!!
By the way, if any of you fat women read this and instantly cursed me – take it back for the love of god; I was a chubby fat kid too so it’s nothing personal. Karma is a…you know when I say ‘bitch’, I imagine a cat. It’s sad that a female dog has such a catty, sniveling reference full of malice. So please don’t curse me and make me grow fatter than I already am. Menfolk will curse you, and you’ll blow up more. You don’t want that now, do you?
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